Conversations

We are currently approaching Time to Talk Day, which is held on the 2nd February.
The theme this year is 'conversations change lives'
With this in mind, I'd like to share why I believe it is so important to have honest conversations about mental health.


It is something that affects us all. We all have mental health needs. We don't all realise this, though. Some people still really struggle to discuss mental health difficulties openly. Maybe this is out of fear that they'll say the wrong thing and offend someone or maybe there are fears around being judged and appearing vulnerable.

I have learnt, over time, how to have these conversations; being open about my experiences, and encouraging others to be open about theirs. We can't always get it right all the time. We will make mistakes when we have these conversations, especially when we first start. Someone is bound to get upset at some point, but it is important to learn from these moments and keep trying!

Anyway, back to the point!

I started working as a mental health support and recovery worker just under 12 months ago. I was open about my own mental health from the start, which I will never regret. I am lucky that I work in an office with an open and supportive culture around mental health, I understand that not everyone has the same positive experience. Being able to discuss my mental health in the same way as I would discuss my physical health has been really helpful in getting my mental health needs met, and being supported at work. I know that the growth in my ability to talk openly about my mental health has led to a greater awareness of my own, and others, struggles and resilience. I am also really glad that I have seen my colleagues discussing their mental health, and witnessed some beautiful, compassionate conversations.


I love talking about mental health with people who don't normally get a chance to. It's good to be able to remind people that whether you have a diagnosis of a mental health difficulty, or not, you still have to look after your mental and emotional health. We all have our breaking points. Not talking about it is sure to make your breaking point arrive sooner. Tell someone that you're feeling stressed out, anxious, exhausted, sad, overwhelmed... It is not a sign of weakness. There is a certain beautiful kind of strength in recognising when we feel not so good and asking for some help.


That being said, the onus shouldn't be placed solely on the individuals needing support. Everyone has a responsibility to contribute towards a culture of acceptance and compassion around mental illness. This could be making a decision to stop using negative or stigmatising language. This may be deciding to challenge unkind comments when you hear them. It may be as simple as asking a friend or colleague 'how are you?', waiting to hear their answer and being there if they need it.

What I Wish People Understood About My Mental Illness

Nowadays, what I really wish people understood about my mental health problem, is that it could affect anybody.

We all have mental health.

Just as we all have physical health.

Having a mental health difficulty does not define who we are. It does not separate us from the rest of 'normal' society. We certainly shouldn't be made to feel that way.

Just as we can have good physical health and poor physical health at different stages in our lives, we can also have good mental health and poor mental health. Some people simply need more support than others at different times in their lives. People who experience mental health difficulties are not different or strange. We are all human, with human experiences. Mental illness and wellness are simply part of that experience. It is essential for everyone to have their individual needs met in regards to their mental health, whether they have a diagnosis or not.

Having a diagnosis of a mental health condition does not make me different. It simply means that at one point in my life I needed extra support to get by. Thankfully, I got that help and I am now supporting others to get by. I see folks making a distinction between mentally unwell people and 'normal people' all the time and this needs to change.

Mental health needs to be taken seriously, of course it does, but to act like the person is somehow separate from everyone else just makes it that much harder for that individual to ask for help.

We are all different in our own wonderful ways, but we need to remember that we all have mental health. We all go through those times when we feel sad or scared. If we have good mental resilience we can bounce back quickly, but sometimes we can't. We all need to take care of our mental health, whatever that means to us.

I wish people understood that myself and the countless others with a mental health diagnosis are not abnormal. Mental illness can and does impact everybody and this needs to be recognised.

My day of delayed trains, sweaty anxiety, soggy feet and inspiring humans

Today I travelled to London to join in with a Time to Change event.
It has also been one of the worst days anxiety-wise that I've had all year.

I love events with Time to Change & Rethink Mental Illness.
I love hearing other people's stories and feeling encouraged by their responses to mine.
I was so looking forward to this.

I woke up with that familiar, yet somehow always unfamiliar, sense of dread and impending doom that feels like it has access to every cell in my body.

I am grateful for my beloved, who encouraged me to get out of bed, fed the cat, helped me choose what to wear, made breakfast and drove me to the train station.
Some days I am 100% capable of being an independent adult. Today was not one of those days.

I got to my reserved seat to find that someone was sat in it.
There were so many available seats and he was sat in the one that had a reserved notice on that little screen above the seats.
Most days I would be able to easily shrug this off. Accept and let go.
I sat in an available seat, seething that he was so self-entitled.

I managed to settle to some degree but then the train stopped. We were going nowhere. The announcement man didn't know when we'd be moving again.
I was trapped. Every announcement gave no more answers. More people got on the train. More noise, more movement, more anxious energy buzzing around me. The heat started to get to me. I'm sure my seat got smaller, or the space around my seat got smaller. I was trapped. An announcement that another train was going to London Euston from the station we were stuck on, should I get off and try that? Turns out I was stuck in my seat and my brain couldn't possibly comprehend the decision to get on a different train. Jeez, it got so hot. My body was so uncomfortable, dizzy, shakey, sweaty.

When I finally did get to Euston, I had to then walk to the event in the rain.
Silly choice of shoes for a wet day. Soggy feet.
So. Many. People.
So. Much. Noise.

I had a lovely welcome when I did arrive and I felt better...ish.
I'm usually in my element at events like this. Conversations about mental health are my favourite (Well one of the very few topics I can actually hold conversations about)
Today it was a bigger challenge than usual, but I stuck it out. I made it until the end (even if I did leave as quickly as I could)
For that I am proud.
I have some great ideas and things to take forward; things to ponder on.
I met some wonderful people who I hope to work with again.
I got that reminder that talking and hearing other people talk about mental health, ignites something in me that not much else does.

I was foolish to think that the issues with the trains would be sorted nearer the end of the day.
When I got back to the station, I was met with absolute chaos.
So. Many. People.
So. Much. Noise.
Crowds of people looking up at those boards, waiting for the platform of their train to be announced so they could rush forward.
Panic well and truly set in. Heart racing. Struggling to breathe. Feeling sick. Shaking all over.

I couldn't help wonder how everyone else was feeling.
Did their emotions differ to mine?
How much was the stress affecting their physiology?
Was this simply mild annoyance to them?
Was anyone else feeling like the station was caving in on them?

I am glad I went. I'm glad I stayed. I'm glad I had this experience today.
It was a messy, exhausting day but it was a challenge that I made it through.
Life is messy and it's exhausting, but I'm glad to be living it.