Is it spring yet?!

Sorry this is late. I've been trying to decide what to share. The other thing will get shared, just not this month.

This weird weather we've been having has left many of us feeling really frazzled. All the last minute cancellations, risky journeys, and dark cold days are getting lots of us down!

Every winter, I notice my mental health and energy levels take a bit of a dip. The last couple of years have been better as I've been able to recognise it, and say to myself 'it's okay, this doesn't last forever'. I just need to wait it out, and look forward to spring. I've realised that winter is natures time to sleep, and I don't need to bloom all year long. I can rest and restore.

Spring seems to be taking such a long time to arrive this year, though!

My energy feels like spring flowers, coming out of the winter sleep. When I start to see the daffodils, the crocuses, the blossom, I start to feel more energised again. I feel myself shrugging off the winter, emerging out of the soil.

This year, the snow keeps squishing me/them back down!

Ugh too many metaphors in this post. Who the hell do I think I am? 

Basically, winter is tough and I usually feel better in the spring. 

During a spring equinox yoga practice I was doing the other day, I was prompted to think about what element of spring I'd like to manifest in myself. The thing that came to mind was the ability to embrace change. I'm trying really hard to be flexible and embrace change, but I am finding it tough at the moment. There seems to be a lot of change going on around me right now. I can only do what I can. I can focus on the positive changes and try to accept the changes that stress me out. Change is constant and I know I can't avoid it. I need to learn to go with the flow. At least I recognise this now and other people know what's going on too.

Even though the weather is still pants and gloomy, the lighter evenings mean that I can go for a walk after work, which is a really important part of my routine. I will start to pick up again. I know I will. It's just taking a little longer than usual to wake up from winter this year.

They're trying! 

It's Eating Disorders Awareness Week (TW - take care please)

Content/Trigger warning: In the second part of the post (underneath the starred line) there is mention of some harmful eating disorder related behaviours. 

This year, Eating Disorders Awareness Week will take place from 26 February to 4 March. The theme is 'Why Wait'. Some of you may remember my blog for last year's EDAW. The theme was around early intervention and I spoke about my experiences with waiting too long for treatment. There isn't much more I can say on the topic that I haven't already said, so please check out last year's post, read the following bit from the Beat website, and then you can read the thing I've chosen to write about instead. 

"This year, during Eating Disorders Awareness Week, we’ll be asking the question ‘Why Wait?’

On average, 149 weeks pass before those experiencing eating disorder symptoms seek help. That’s almost three years, 37 months or 1,043 days.

We know the sooner someone gets the treatment they need, the more likely they are to make a full and fast recovery. As well as campaigning to improve the services available, we recognise that we must raise awareness of the signs and symptoms of an eating disorder and encourage and empower people to take action now – no matter how long their symptoms have been present.

So, join us this EDAW to ask: ‘Why Wait?’ "

Me again: I really hope professionals take notice of this campaign and the many people crying out for change. It's important that we don't just tell people to seek help early. As I spoke about last year, I tried to get help when I noticed the early warning signs of my eating disorder reemerging after a brief okay spell and I wasn't taken seriously. I wasn't given the help early on, despite asking several times. I hope times have changed/ are changing.

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The Actual Blog Post

Recently, I've been thinking about stuff that I have reclaimed since recovering from anorexia nervosa. 

I'm going to write about two things that, when I was poorly, were damaging to my health and wellbeing. They are now both really important for my self-care and they do not harm or deplete me. 

They nourish me.  

When I started thinking about it, I felt really powerful. It reminded me of how different my life is now. 

1) Baths. I remember using baths as a way to distract myself from eating and from feeling hungry.

Now baths are a crucial part of my self-care routine. If I've had a tough day, or had too much sensory input, nothing resets my system better than turning the lights off and lying in the water. I've come to realise recently how important my 'sensory diet' is. Lights that are too bright, noises that are too loud, smells that are too strong, all drain my energy. This type of environment is, unfortunately, unavoidable but I'm learning what comforts me and what strengthens me. Having a bath feels like I'm properly looking after myself. Doing exactly what serves me, filling my cup back up.

2) Walking. When I was unwell, I would walk a lot and feel very guilty if I didn't.

Now walking is something I do for absolutely all the right reasons. It calms me down when I'm feeling anxious, it boosts my mood when I'm feeling down, and it helps me to be more mindful and reminds me to breathe when I'm stuck in my head. I'm very lucky that I live by a few different parks and green spaces, so I only need to venture a couple of minutes out of my house before I've got that breathing space. I also now have a dog, so on those days where my anxiety makes it difficult to leave the house, he reminds me to go out and take a breather. I made a promise to myself that I would only do exercise that I actually enjoy. No more 'shoulds'. This includes walking, yoga, spinning/dancing in the house and the occasional bike ride.


There are also many things that I have rediscovered (rather than reclaimed) since recovering. Reading is one. Oh the joy of having the concentration to read a book! I might revisit that topic another time.


This was such a nice reflection. It feels important to stop and take stock of how far we've come. Even if it's only small steps. We're all growing constantly and can get to where we want to be if we keep making those steps.